Through Year Course, the Chance to Figure out Who I Am

Year Course 19-20 Graduation Speech
by Sofia Feldman

Each and every one of us sitting here today are the people we are because of the choices we have made. This past year has consisted of decision making. Not just small decisions and choices of what to eat or what clothes to wear, but decisions determining our futures. I want to share with you some of the decisions I have made which have formed me into the person I am today, standing here in front of you. 

After attending the Young Judaea summer program, Machon, I immediately knew that Year Course was something I needed to do. Four weeks on Machon did not satisfy my love and passion for Israel’s culture and everything that makes Israel Israel. It was my first time ever coming to Israel and I was positive I would be back. I knew that Year Course would be something I would regret not doing, but I was absolutely terrified. I was leaving behind everything I knew and loved. I would be going from the home of BBQ to the land of schnitzel and falafel. I’d be replacing Southern hospitality for Israel’s aggressive bus drivers. I would be leaving my friends for new ones and 14 random Israelis. I would also be leaving my family, not knowing that I would make a completely new one. 

By the end of senior year, I had solidified the next five years of my life. Although I was breaking out of the classic mold of attending college directly out of high school, I was comforted by the fact that I would be returning to life back in America. I would be close again to my family, my high school friends, and everything that I had grown up with. I would be coming back to attend the University of Florida and be a part of the classic American college experience. I knew after I had made my college decision to attend University of Florida, I was not being completely honest with myself. I made the choice to go to the University of Florida for other people around me. I was trying to live up to what was expected from me, not necessarily what was right for me. I was more satisfied with the knowledge that I had a plan rather than the plan itself. I tried to suppress these emotions because I was scared of them. When they reappeared a few months ago in Israel, I was forced to confront them. While on Year Course, I surrendered to the tough realization that my decision to go to the University of Florida was not what was best for me. I could not fight it anymore, because being a college student in America felt wrong. I essentially had a crisis of where I wanted to be and where I belonged. Every time I thought about the next few years of my life in America, it wasn’t something that necessarily made me happy or something that I saw a future in. I was faced with a choice that I did not see coming. The choice to go home and resume life in America or to stay in Israel and continue my life here. And deep down, the decision for me to stay was a no brainer.